Tuesday, September 25, 2012

What Do I Want to be When I Grow Up?

We always ask children the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" You hear a variety of answers from doctor to policeman to teacher or in the case of my daughter, when she was 3, "the wicked witch of the east." She was a little obsessed with the "Wizard of Oz."

Then there is me, for years, I wanted to be a teacher. I went to college to become a teacher and all I'm missing is my student teaching. I did substitute for a time, but teaching wasn't my true career destiny. Truthfully, it took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. I'm now 41-years-old and I do know, but I'm just trying to figure out how to accomplish this.

I've never been known as a person who had clear direction in life. I went through multiple majors in college and finally settled on an English major because reading and writing is are my first loves. I loved being an English major and submersed myself in the classics and long term papers.  Then came my senior year and I'm also very pregnant with my oldest child at this point and still don't know what I want for my career. I am sitting in my adviser's office and I say to him, "So I'm graduating soon with this English degree, what I am I going to do with it?" He simply said, "I don't know, I've been here for twenty years." Oh, that helps! That was nearly fourteen years ago.

Here's what I've done since that day, I've been a manager of marketing communications, administrative assistant, desktop publisher, substitute teacher and daycare provider. My Facebook page says that I'm a freelance writer and editor. That is what I want to do, that's been my career ambition. That is my passion, my love, my life. That is what I want to be when I grow up.

Here's the major problem...how do I get those jobs and be paid for them. I'm not independently wealthy and I can't work for free, that's for sure. My confidence is the other issue. I know I'm a good writer, but good isn't good enough, I need to be a great writer. I am my harshest critic and my own worst enemy. I can't let this stop me. I have a family to provide for and if I want to make a go of this, I can't let it stop me.

So here is my public commitment. I will write one blog, article, something per day and submit it in an attempt to begin this career. This has to happen and I'm the only person that can make it happen.

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